Addictions - what is behind them?

Having a close look at the people around me, I have been struck by the fact that there is hardly anyone among my acquaintances who does not have a more or less strong craving for something, an activity or possession that they do not want to be without. For the sake of simplicity, let's call this an addiction - even though the psychological definition might not apply 100% to all of these cases.
Some of the people I know smoke, others eat too much, and a few are very much centred on sports. The shopping addiction has its varieties: Some go to the shops, others need their online shopping tour; the purchased goods may be clothes, or music CDs, books, films or whatever else one might have a liking for.

Normally, there is a reason for our actions. So, what do addictions do for us? Why do we stick to them and seem to be unable to get rid of them even though they may endanger our health, our finances or our social harmony? I think that an addiction is a replacement for something else we desperately want, but cannot get. Somebody who can satisfy all his or her needs does not develop an addiction. Now we must keep in mind that our needs are legion: It is not just about eating and drinking, sleeping, and having clothes to cover our body. We might have been searching for the love of our life. Our job could be too boring for us. We might long for more affirmation from others, but are usually ignored. Whatever it is we yearn to have, but cannot obtain - the situation frustrates us. Our subconscious tries to compensate for this lack by drawing our attention to things that are available. The consequences are obvious: Temporarily our frustration is relieved because we can enjoy something - smoke a cigarette, eat some sweets, wear a new pullover. But in the long run, we feel even worse, since the consequences of our addiction add to the unachieved goal that is still on our minds. According to my theory, an addiction is a survival strategy that does not solve the underlying problem, but keeps the mind from having to deal with a permanent tormenting basic frustration. It shifts our focus from the unavailable to the attainable.

We have to be clearsighted and honest in order to find our own addictions. Denial usually indicates that the problem is quite deep-rooted. If you are unsure if something is just a habit or already a compulsive action, just try to give it up spontaneously for a length of time. If you don't manage to or if it causes you great difficulty, you know you have developed a dependence.
The second step is more complicated: You must find the real lack in your life. What is it you always wanted and are still unable to get? For this process you should withdraw a bit from hectic day-to-day life. You need to spend some time on your own so you can listen to your inner voice. Go through the different areas of life (your job, your family, your friends, your hobbies) and see if there is something you miss. Would you like to have a better relationship with your children? Is there a hobby you always wanted to pursue, but never had the time, money or courage to start?
The third step is then to find the solution to the real problem. It is to be expected that the solution is not easy to find. Or else you would have long done what needs to be done instead of developing an addiction. The most important thing is that you believe that it is possible to improve your situation. Life is invariably bound to change - you must try to initiate a change that brings you closer to your aim. If you don't succeed tomorrow, you might succeed the day after. Time is your friend.

New at Blogger

It was by mere chance that I opened my blogger account. The first thing I did was change the background image, which reminded me very much of oldfashioned wallpaper. I'll try to create a better one when I have more time.